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19 Best Ron Swanson Quotes

19 Best Ron Swanson Quotes

Libertarian Country |

The fictional character Ron Swanson on the popular series Parks and Recreation is an iconic amalgamation of many great Libertarian thinkers.

Co-creator of the show, Michael Shur, said that the character was partly inspired by an actual Libertarian who worked a government job in Burbank, California. 

He said, "I don't really believe in the mission of my job... I'm aware of the irony."

Ron Swanson became an immediate sensation, rising to universal acclaim after the first season. He was widely regarded by the network as being the show's breakout character. 

While most of the country is registered as either democrat or republican, I believe that there is an inner spirit of libertarian rebellion asleep within much of the population, even if only gently awakened by a humorous, fictional (albeit relatable) character like Ron Swanson. 

Ron Swanson Shirt

We may be constantly bombarded by fast-talking, high-stressed bureaucrats in our daily lives, but somewhere in all of us, there's a deep respect for the traditional, no-nonsense, salt-of-the-earth type of person like Ron Swanson.

Someone who just wants to be left alone by busy-bodied regulators. Someone who just wants to eat bacon and eggs and steaks and wash it down with good whiskey without incessantly worrying about all the harm he's doing to himself.  

Words of wisdom we can all be inspired by indeed.


19 World-Famous Ron Swanson Quotes


  1. "There is only one bad word: taxes."

  2.  "Put some alcohol in your mouth to block the words from coming out." 

  3. "I'm just gonna stay angry, I find that relaxes me."

  4. "Honor: if you need it defined for you, then you don't have it."

  5. "Capitalism: God's way of determining who is smart, and who is poor." 

  6. "I call this the turf 'n turf. It's a 16oz T-bone and a 24oz porterhouse. Also, whiskey and a cigar. I am going to consume all of this at the same time because I am a free American."

  7. "Child Labor laws are ruining this Country."

  8. "I'd wish you luck, but I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures."

  9. "Half the day I wonder if it's too late for Coffee, the other half I wonder if it's too early for Alcohol."

  10. "I once worked with a guy for 3 years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes."

  11. "The government is a greedy piglet that suckles on the taxpayer's teat until they have sore, chapped nipples."

  12. "Keep your tears in your eyes where they belong. "

  13. "Sting like a bee. Do not float like a butterfly, that is ridiculous."

  14. "Never half-ass two things. Whole ass one thing."

  15. "Give 100%. 110% is impossible, only idiots recommend that."

  16. "Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, and feed yourself. He's a grown man and fishing's not that hard."

  17. "Friends: one to three is sufficient."

  18. "There is no wrong way to consume alcohol."

  19. "I regret nothing. The end." 



    Ron Swanson:

    “This isn’t a steak. Why would you call it that on your menu?”


    “I don’t know what to tell you, man.”

    Ron Swanson:

    “Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have… Wait. Wait…”

    “I’m worried what you just heard was give me a lot of bacon and eggs. What I said was give me all the bacon and eggs you have....”

    “Do you understand?”


    Obviously, we could go on for quite some time. A funny and engaging character like Ron Swanson can be quoted in almost any situation. These are merely 19 of the best quotes just to give you a taste.

    Definitely check out the show Parks and Recreation if you haven't already. It's one of our favorite political comedies!

    If you enjoyed reading these musings of a true American patriot, check out 26 Henry Mencken Quotes

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