• Ron Swanson Quotes

January 11, 2019


Ron Swanson Quotes


The character Ron Swanson on the popular series Parks and Recreation is an iconic compendium of many great Libertarian thinkers. Words of wisdom we can all be inspired by. Below are some of his world class quotes:


  • "There is only one bad word: taxes."


  • "Put some alcohol in your mouth to block the words from coming out."


  • "I'm just gonna stay angry, I find that relaxes me."


  • "Honor, if you need it defined for you, then you don't have it."


  • "Capitalism: God's way of determining who is smart, and who is poor."




  • "I call this the turf 'n turf. It's a 16oz Tbone and a 24oz porterhouse. Also, whiskey and a cigar. I am going to consume all of this at the same time because I am a free American."


  • "Child Labor laws are ruining this Country."


  • "I'd wish you luck, but I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures."


  • "Half the day I wonder if it's too late for Coffee, the other half I wonder if it's too early for Alcohol."


  • "I once worked with a guy for 3 years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes."


  • "The government is a greedy piglet that suckles on the taxpayers teat until they have sore, chapped nipples."


  • "Keep your tears in your eyes where they belong. "



  • "Sting like a bee. Do not float like a butterfly, that is ridiculous."


  • "Never half ass two things. Whole ass one thing."


  • "Give 100%. 110% is impossible, only idiots recommend that."


  • "Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, and feed yourself. He's a grown man and fishing's not that hard."


  • "Friends: one to three is sufficient."


  • "There is no wrong way to consume alcohol."


Ron Swanson:

“This isn’t a steak. Why would you call it that on your menu?”


“I don’t know what to tell you, man.”

Ron Swanson:

“Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have… Wait. Wait…”

“I’m worried what you just heard was give me a lot of bacon and eggs. What I said was give me all the bacon and eggs you have....”

“Do you understand?”



  • "I regret nothing. The end."


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