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Our benevolent protectors know what is best for us. They provide us with all the safety and care that a loving government can give. All they ask from you in return is half of your income and complete submission. They have total and absolute control over everything you do, but alas, you should be thankful for your oppression.
Without their omnipotent leadership, how would you survive? Now do not ever see yourself as a victim. Have pride in your servitude. And if you ever complain, the world can rightfully mock and ridicule you for resisting your ensnarement. Celebrate that you are in an abusive relationship with government today!
Size guide
| LENGTH (inches) | WIDTH (inches) | CHEST (inches) | |
| XS | 27 | 16 ½ | 31-34 |
| S | 28 | 18 | 34-37 |
| M | 29 | 20 | 38-41 |
| L | 30 | 22 | 42-45 |
| XL | 31 | 24 | 46-49 |
| 2XL | 32 | 26 | 50-53 |
| 3XL | 33 | 28 | 54-57 |
| 4XL | 34 | 30 | 58-61 |
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I like my coffee black and my tea in the harbor. In the spirit of...
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Everyone is always talking about whether we should ban "assault" rifles or not, and I'm...
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