BUY 4 PREMIUM T-SHIRTS GET ONE FREE! -- Add 5 Premium Shirts to Your Cart, You Will Only Pay for 4!


27 George Carlin Quotes For Freethinkers and Rebels

27 George Carlin Quotes For Freethinkers and Rebels

Libertarian Country |

On the day Denis Patrick Carlin was born--May 12th, 1937--he had no idea he would become George Carlin, one of the greatest comedians of all time.

In this article, we offer our thoughts and resounding praise of the mighty Carlin and some of his best-recorded quotes.

Let's rock!

Skip our thoughts on George Carlin and jump straight to the quotes


George Carlin: Comedy Genius

George Carlin was one of the greatest comedians of all time. When society, government and organized religion showed their ugly sides, the iconic Carlin fearlessly jumped on stage to challenge their hypocrisy and corruption.

Carlin's comedy wasn't just funny; it was a deep dive into human psychology and social criticism. It's impressive that a comedian delivered some of the most thought-provoking and intellectual content ever. That in of itself should make you think.

Carlin performed many standup comedy routines and HBO specials, acted in dozens of television and movie productions, recorded spoken-word albums, and was the author of several books, with titles like Brain Droppings (97) and Napalm and Silly Putty (01).

What I loved about Carlin was his dedication to freethinking and independent thought. It was hard to lump Carlin into any political demographic. Though he was obviously against Republicans and evangelic conservatism, he also had a penchant for beating up liberal Democrats.

Though Carlin criticized the Libertarian Party (sorry fellow libertarians), his rebellion against the status quo and political tyranny encompassed the libertarian attitude and spirit. Many libertarians--such as us--praise Carlin for his intelligent social criticisms and contributions to a countercultural ethos that perpetually challenges political orthodoxy.

An early crusader against academic fascism, George Carlin fought political correctness long before it took root, foreseeing its regressive tendencies and propensity to become neo-puritanism.

For decades, progressives and liberals resonated with Carlin--they were his base. Unfortunately, many progressives and today's so-called "social justice warriors" have reduced Carlin to an "antiquated, patriarchal white male oppressor."

Because Carlin brutally bashed political correctness and used vulgar language--some of which is considered taboo today--many neo-puritan progressives have abandoned him and completely dismissed his brilliant works.

It's a tragedy that he was relegated to an unworthy status by so many on the left, considering how deeply sympathetic he was to marginalized groups who have suffered oppression, abuse and mistreatment. Carlin was a cool guy; he wasn't racist, sexist, homophobic, or any other buzzword insult the P.C. Police threw at him.

If they were born a decade or two earlier, today's young "social revolutionaries" would've been Carlin fans. They don't like him because the media and the academic elite have brainwashed them to the point where they cannot think beyond liberal orthodoxy.

Carlin remarked that it was a terrible shame that liberals were leading the war against free speech. In Carlin's day, the troglodyte hardline evangelic conservative always tried to rule society's language and morality with an iron fist. Now it's the zombie liberal.

They say politics makes strange bedfellows--because today, the first amendment is under attack from people on the right and the left. Who would've ever thought radical feminists would team up with religious zealots to usher in a new wave of censorship and control?

Oh, if Carlin was still alive today.

In recent years, the popularity of George Carlin has amplified among constitutional conservatives, libertarians, anarchists and freethinkers. Though some of these people have always been fans, his social commentary and political criticisms have found new meaning--and a new home--among the right.

Though the right-wing and left-wing have "claimed" George Carlin as one of their own heroes, his allegiance was always to himself (another great libertarian tenet), and wasn't going to shill for anyone.

If Carlin was ever a hero, it was always for the individual, the rebel, the outcast. His comedy and social critique will live on through the ages.

George Carlin had a lot to say, and we were always ready to listen. His comedy routines and sayings are among the most widely spread in our society. Here, we bring you 27 of the best George Carlin quotes of all time.



George Carlin Quotes

  1. The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.

  2. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

  3. That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

  4. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

  5. Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes.

  6. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.

  7. The planet is fine. The people are fucked.

  8. Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

  9. Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.

  10. I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.

  11. I don't have pet peeves - I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.

  12. Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.

  13. Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners.

  14. If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

  15. How is it possible to have a civil war?

  16. I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.

  17. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.

  18. I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity.

  19. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bullshit they teach you in school.

  20. The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out

  21. When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. If you're born in America you get a front row seat.

  22. A good motto to live by: 'Always try not to get killed.

  23. Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

  24. If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked.

  25. It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot.

  26. We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.

  27. Political correctness is America's newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control people's language with strict codes and rigid rules. I'm not sure that's the way to fight discrimination. I'm not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech.


Bonus Material: Watch this video, it's Carlin at his best!


    The legendary George Carlin reminded us to think deeply but to make sure we take time to laugh and never take ourselves too seriously. Carlin proved that mixing comedy with thought-provoking ideas is perhaps the only way to get people to listen. 

    Thanks for stopping by!

    If you enjoyed these quotes, you may also like "26 Voltaire Quotes Everyone Should Read Today"

    Libertarian Shirts