100 Dark Humor Jokes That Push the Boundaries of Free Speech

Why Dark Humor Matters

Dark humor is one of the last bastions of free speech. It’s comedy at its boldest—fearless, unapologetic, and unafraid to poke fun at the things society says we should never joke about. The reason it matters is simple: laughter is a coping mechanism. If we can laugh at tragedy, hypocrisy, and even death itself, we take away some of their power.

Censorship and cancel culture want to tell us what’s “appropriate.” But the truth is, comedy only works when nothing is off-limits. Dark humor permits us to question taboos, to laugh at pain, and to reclaim power from the darkest parts of life.

It’s not for everyone, and that’s fine. But for those who get it, dark humor is a celebration of free expression, liberty, and the refusal to let anyone tell us what we can and cannot laugh at.

100 Dark Humor Jokes

1. Why don’t graveyards ever get overcrowded? Because people are dying to get in.

2. My grief counselor died. He was so good, I didn’t even care.

3. Dark humor is like food… not everyone gets it.

4. Why don’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

5. What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

6. My boss told me to have a good day… so I went home.

7. What’s the difference between me and cancer? My dad didn’t beat cancer.

8. Why don’t blind people skydive? Because it scares the hell out of the dog.

9. I have a joke about depression… but it won’t get up in the morning.

10. Why was the leper hockey game canceled? Because there was a face-off in the corner.

11. Parallel lines have so much in common… it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

12. What’s the difference between a joke and two dicks? You can’t take a joke.

13. I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said, “Thanks.” I said, “Don’t mention it.”

14. Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.

15. What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

16. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

17. What’s worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm.

18. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. (The dark side.)

19. What’s the last thing that goes through a bug’s mind when it hits a windshield? Its butt.

20. Why don’t grave robbers ever get caught? Because they’re always working under the ground.

21. I’d tell you a construction joke… but I’m still working on it.

22. Why don’t we ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.

23. What’s black, white, and red all over? A sunburned penguin.

24. Why did the orphan bring a ladder to school? To reach the high expectations.

25. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room? The living room.

26. Why don’t zombies eat comedians? Because they taste punny.

27. I have a joke about suicide… but I’ll hang onto it.

28. What’s the hardest thing about telling a dark joke? Knowing where to draw the line.

29. Why don’t amputees ever get cold? They’re always wearing their stump warmers.

30. I started a band called 1023MB. We haven’t gotten a gig yet.

31. What’s invisible and smells like carrots? Bunny farts.

32. Why don’t hospitals play poker? Too many cheaters.

33. I’m friends with all electricians. We have good current connections.

34. Why don’t hitmen use calendars? They don’t want to mark anyone.

35. My ex got run over by a bus. I lost my job as a bus driver.

36. What’s the difference between me and an orphan? At least my parents wanted me.

37. Why don’t we ever tell secrets in cornfields? Too many ears.

38. What’s the fastest way to stop a fight between two blind men? Just yell, “I bet on the one with the knife!”

39. Why don’t morticians ever get scared? Because they’re dying inside.

40. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange.

41. I threw a boomerang a few years ago… I live in constant fear.

42. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? Because his grades were below C-level.

43. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

44. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream.

45. Why don’t magicians ever starve? They can make meals disappear.

46. My friend asked me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.

47. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Bob.

48. What’s a cannibal’s favorite fast food? Joggers.

49. My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.

50. Why don’t grave diggers ever get lonely? Because people are just dying to meet them.

51. My grandfather has the heart of a lion… and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

52. I’m terrified of elevators, so I take steps to avoid them.

53. Why don’t cemeteries ever need WiFi? Because everyone’s already dead quiet.

54. Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field… of corpses.

55. I told my wife she should do squats to improve her shape. That was a huge mistake.

56. Why do nurses always carry red pens? In case they need to draw blood.

57. What’s the most depressing part about being a magician? Everyone expects you to disappear eventually.

58. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? He had no body to go with him.

59. What’s a ghost’s favorite body of water? Lake Eerie.

60. My friend has a job at a calendar factory, but he got fired for taking a couple of days off.

61. Why don’t executioners ever get nervous? Because they’re good at keeping their heads.

62. What’s the most common owl in a hospital? A blood owl.

63. Why do graveyards have fences? Because people are dying to get in. (Still funny the 2nd time.)

64. I once dated a girl with a lazy eye. She was seeing someone else the whole time.

65. Why don’t orphans play hide and seek? Because no one will look for them.

66. What’s the worst combination? A kleptomaniac with Alzheimer’s.

67. I asked my wife to lower the thermostat. She said, “Why don’t you do it?” I said, “Because you’re hotter.”

68. Why don’t vampires go to the beach? They don’t like being in the sun.

69. What’s the worst thing about getting a kidney transplant? You have to accept someone else’s pee habits.

70. Why don’t serial killers ever get lost? They always follow their gut.

71. Why did the math book look sad? Too many problems.

72. Why don’t ghosts tell lies? Because you can see right through them.

73. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.

74. I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.

75. Why don’t grave robbers ever need directions? They just follow the bodies.

76. What’s worse than losing your phone? Losing your phone in a graveyard at night.

77. Why don’t dentists ever fight? They always back down under pressure.

78. What’s the worst part about being ugly? Having to find someone with a sense of humor.

79. My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

80. Why don’t corpses ever get sunburnt? They’re six feet under.

81. Why do doctors carry pencils? In case they need to draw blood.

82. What’s the difference between a piano and a body? One needs tuning, the other needs burying.

83. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything… even excuses.

84. Why did the goth cross the road? To get to the darker side.

85. My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes you cry. So I threw a coconut at his head.

86. Why don’t butchers ever get stressed? Because they can handle a lot of pressure.

87. Why did the ghost go to school? To learn how to be a little brighter.

88. Why don’t criminals ever play board games? They hate getting caught.

89. My uncle died because we couldn’t remember his blood type. He kept saying, “Be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

90. Why did the man get hit by a bike every day? Because he was stuck in a vicious cycle.

91. Why don’t stalkers ever break up with people? They’re way too attached.

92. Why did the depressed man buy a rope? He wanted to tie up loose ends.

93. Why don’t politicians ever get buried? They just get recycled into more lies.

94. Why did the funeral director cross the road? To get to the other cemetery.

95. Why don’t ghosts ever go to bars? They don’t have the spirit.

96. Why did the goth eat cereal in the dark? Because he didn’t want to see how depressed it looked.

97. What’s a zombie’s favorite exercise? Deadlifts.

98. My friend told me he wanted to be cremated. I said, “Great, let’s set a date.”

99. Why don’t grave diggers ever gossip? They keep things buried.

100. Why did the comedian get banned from the morgue? Too many killer jokes.

Final Thoughts: Never Let Comedy Die

Dark humor will always test the limits. It will make some people uncomfortable, and that’s exactly the point. Comedy has to be dangerous to stay alive. If we let fear of offense smother our laughter, then free speech is already lost.

So laugh. Laugh at the pain, laugh at the absurd, laugh at the things that scare you. That’s how we win. That’s how comedy stays immortal. Never let dark humor die.