If you caught Biden's State of the Union address last night, you may have noticed that Joe didn't seem like his usual clumsy, exhausted, rambling and forgetful self.
He actually seemed like a real human being that was aware of his surroundings.
Yes, a keen and honest observer of Biden's speech is forced to admit, regardless if we agree or disagree with what was said, that his delivery was indeed fiery and energetic, which has led some to ask the obvious question:
"What in the hell did they gas Joe Biden up with last night?"
In the interest of protecting ourselves against criminal libel, we make no assertions that Joe Biden was under the influence of any kind of drug, stimulant or substance that may or may not have altered his personality, attitude and energy levels.
We make no accusations or claims that would confirm or deny any such allegation or speculation, and we bring no false statements against President Joe Biden.
We will, however--observing and exercising our constitutionally protected right to free speech--entertain the possibility that Joe Biden was under the influence of stimulants during his 2024 State of The Union speech, in the realm of theory and conjecture.
The manner in which Joe Biden delivered his fiery speech was characteristic of someone who had ingested some form of stimulant.
What that stimulant could have been, we don't know. We're merely saying that his behavior resembled that of someone under the influence.
Conversely, we will say that his normal behavior resembles that of a fictional zombie character of some sort, even though we make no claim or allegation that he is a zombie.
Anyway...
I remember being at a party once in the late 90s that was nearing the end of the night.
There before me, amidst the alcohol soaked chronicles of youth, sat a miserably drunk dude who could barely keep his eyes open.
Eager partygoers perched on the edge of their seat with a black magic marker in hand, waiting in anticipation for his eyes to fall into the abyss so they could draw dicks on the side of his face.
His fate was inevitable, until his friend came to his rescue, offering him a line of cocaine.
He happily accepted.
Moments later, this dude at the party became animated, talkative, articulate and even pleasurable to listen to. The cocaine had completely restored and revitalized his energy and vigor.
To entertain the idea that Joe Biden was in a limousine doing lines of coke with his son Hunter is, of course, unthinkable, and we would never make any such assumption. But we wouldn't blame you if that thought should ever arise in your mind.
Of course, a person in their 80s doesn't need cocaine to deliver a pepped-up, fiery speech. They could simply consume 38 cups of coffee in under 12 minutes. Much like in multivariable calculus, the same results can be achieved through different methods and pathways.
In other words, shame on you for thinking that the Democrats, in the interest of beating Trump and winning Biden 4 more years in office, would gas the president up on drugs so he wouldn't botch the State of the Union address.
You scoundrels!
